Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Cave people should not be out in the Light



Some people shouldn’t leave their cave.
On HLN news, a witness to a stage collapse filed a lawsuit claiming she was traumatized because she was there and saw the collapse.  There were approximately 12,000 people there who witnessed the horrific accident.  I guess the attorney will be busy with the other “traumatized” show-goers. 

A few months ago, I helped a young lady who was attempting to file a vehicle accident report.  I asked her they related questions, who/what/where/why/how. 
She answered all the questions within reason except the “how”. 
She stated she was in her vehicle when two cars next to her collided.  No damage to her car.
She claimed she was startled by the collision and hurt her back when the crash occurred.  Her attorney advised her to file the report at the station. Really?
Same station.  Different day.  Another young lady wanted to file a report that she had been drugged at the club the night before. 
Again, I asked the appropriate who/what/where/why/how questions. 
She could only answer the “where” and the “why”.  She named the club and claimed that she missed a job interview the next day because she overslept.  She claimed that she never oversleeps and must have been drugged the night before.                           

She never went to hospital, so I suggested she go to the hospital for a checkup and a blood test and offered to call an ambulance.  She stated she felt fine and just needed the report to take to the interviewer to prove her claim. Riiight…
While working as traffic control, waiting for the county crew to pick up a light pole that was knocked down by a street racer, traffic was flowing in a single lane only.  The standard drivers/rubberneckers were clogging up the lane of traffic, slowing down to look at the scene.
One driver took a long, languishing look at the scene while traveling 5 mph, not looking in front of her, so I yelled for her to move on and look at the roadway. 
She stopped in the roadway and began screaming at the top of her lungs and causing enough commotion inside her vehicle, I could see her vehicle rocking.
When I walked up to her vehicle, she continued screaming that someone “must’ve died” in the crash and it was horrible.
No was hurt.  In fact everyone walked away from the scene AND the accident had occurred several hours earlier.
This driver was so distraught; she couldn’t operate her vehicle, continued screaming while in her vehicle and we had to call our supervisors to the scene.  The story continues longer still afterwards and I won’t bore you with the details, but this incident lasted two days at two different locations.

She will be remembered by me as one of the most unstable drivers I have ever had the distinction to run across.
How about NASCAR fans?
What happens if Bobbie, Robbie, or Dale crashes their car?
Can the fans deal with the pain and suffering?
Come to think of it, I’ve seen that stage collapse on the news SEVERAL times, and I’ve seen several horrific vehicle accidents also on TV and on several social media outlets. 
It is depressing.  Could it be ruining my day?  Maybe traumatizing? Yeahhhh, I think so… anyone know a good ambulance chaser?  How about Glen?

Monday, August 29, 2011

First Responders UN-INVITED to 911 Ceremony's - Really?!


First responders excluded from 9/11 ceremony?
With the 10th anniversary of the worst terrorist attacks on the United States soil approaching, New York has been planning a commemoration ceremony to pay respects to the victims of cowardly attacks.
Of those victims, approximately 3,000 emergency personnel were the first responders to the chaotic scenes, dragging out survivors and the dead, treating the injured, exposed to toxic dust and debris that to this day has caused medical problems and death for several of the responders.
The number of first responders that have died, and those that have died because of the 9/11 attack are continuing to increase steadily (climbing to near 1,000 total); you would think that the politicians planning this event would have emergency personnel well represented, placed on a podium and prepared to receive the accolades they so richly deserve.
They were not even invited. (read here)
Several of the emergency personnel exposed to the toxic dust from the collapsed buildings have developed different types of medical maladies, most of them types of cancer.  (read more)
Some have been shunned by their own medical insurance and denied treatment for their ailments.  One victim, who has since passed away, was even accused that his problems were due to drug abuse.  That accusation apparently was retracted.
When confronted with this omission, a spokesman stated that the ceremony was for “victim’s families”. He also cited time and space constraints were an issue and that first responders would get recognized “at different places and times”.
Sounds like the only issue is politicians with interest in their own agenda.
Oh yeah.  First responders weren’t been invited to ANY of the first 9 ceremonies either.

I guess when you suffer as a result of being on the job and helping an entire city during a time of crisis, and pay the ultimate price or suffer long term effects because of it, you aren’t a “victim” and your family shouldn’t be invited.
I guess someone “did forget”.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Government Waste at your expense - Metro perfect example



.
Budgets cuts by 25-35%.  Your pay cut 5-20%. Benefits slashed.  Your co-workers laid off.  Experienced people retiring before their time.  Is there anything that can be done to save jobs and benefits?
Government has done the kneejerk reaction by cutting worker’s pay, benefits and/or laying them off. But have they done all they can?
Pay attention to the local municipalities and their services.
Does the upper administration still drive “take home” vehicles? Especially administrators that don’t deserve a vehicle?
Are they still having the “3 martini” lunch?
Are the exterior lights on the buildings and parking lots still coming on too early and turning off too late?
Is the air conditioning freezing the workers in the summertime to the point they have to bring their own space heaters?  Or is it too hot in the winter so they have to bring in their own fans? (Little know fact; when workers bring in their own cooling/heating appliances, it overloads their workspace electrical system and causes failures, necessitating a “call out” for service at an additional charge)
Are they undertaking new, costly projects that aren’t necessary? 
How about old projects that seem that they will never work, but they keep pouring money into them? 
McNeil Island Correctional Facility in Washington State used to be a federal facility but was turned over to the State of Washington in the 1980’s.  The state continued to use the island as a correctional facility until its closure this year.
The island had been settled by pioneers in the late 1800’s, but they were chased off the island by the government, so the homes and property were still on the island.  A valuable resource for historians. 
I was told by a guard that when the island was turned over to the state, the feds bulldozed the pioneer’s properties and burned them for unknown reasons.  Items that could’ve been studied and placed into museums.
Locally, the LVMPD “headquarters” was just recently finished and employees are moving in.
At triple the cost of what Metro was paying for rent in other previous rental buildings, the new buildings are going to cost over $1,000,000.00 per month in rent with a 30 year lease.
Brand new furniture was purchased for every office in the building even though the previous furniture was still in working order, and in some cases, supposedly only a year or so old.  As a result, hundreds of pieces of furniture, computer equipment, televisions, electronic equipment and other items were thrown away or given away.  Some equipment was just left in the old buildings for the landlords or movers to scavenge.  Some property deemed to be auction worthy will be moved from the old building (hire some movers), put on moving trucks (hire the trucks), placed in storage (pay for storage).  Later the items will be placed into lots, on pallets and wrapped in plastic (more workers).  After all this, the property will be sold for pennies on the dollar and probably would’ve been cheaper to donate or throw away.
After an “interior designer” picked the colors for the walls, some of the new occupants were unhappy and requested a different color.  One comment was the colors were not “soothing” enough.  I guess beige isn’t soothing enough to offset the atmosphere of a building where resolving things like violent crimes is the modus operandi.  So, work orders were placed for new paint. I wonder if any research was conducted to discover exactly what color would be soothing enough, and how much that cost?
The questions posted above have been suggested to administration officials at all levels, but the “perks” of the job for them seem to be protected.
When you moved to your new home, did you get all new furniture? And just toss out the other perfectly good stuff? Did you move into a place that cost 3 times as much but didn't do most of the things it was supposed to do or meet the design specifications? If so, there just may be an administrative job at Metro for you......





Thursday, August 25, 2011

Are You eating Fireworks!?



Do you read labels? 
Do you really know what you are eating and feeding to your family? 
Does the label say “Contains natural or organic ingredients” of “100% natural or organic”?  If it contains natural or organic ingredients, what are the other ingredients?  Is natural good?  Some natural ingredients can be harmful also. 
Sodium benzoate sound familiar? (link)
It is a VERY common preservative used in all types of food and beverage products.  Guaranteed you have something in your pantry that has it in the product.
Remember July 4th festivities?  The whistling fireworks?  Sodium benzoate is a type of fuel that is in fireworks that causes the whistling.
When mixed with ascorbic acid, vitamin C, it causes a chemical change that forms benzene, a highly carcinogenic substance. Usually this combo is found in drink products.  It may also contribute to hyperactivity if mixed with food color agents.
The meat producers have come under scrutiny due to the increased disease and breeding environment that the animals are subjected to. 
Antibiotic resistant bacteria.  Abuse of the animals.  Staph in your meat.
Do you listen to those prescription medication commercials?  Do you listen only to the symptoms that the medication is supposed to treat or the possible side effects (my favorite side effect is “death”)?  Did notice the announcer’s voice suddenly becomes faster, lower in tone and volume while they rattle on about all the possible side effects?
Oh yeah, they have more meds for those side effects (except death, of course).  And they have more side effects and there are more meds for them too.  So on and so on and on and on…
How about what you put on your skin?  Recently, it was reported that some sun block can actually cause damage to your skin and may contribute to skin cancer (http://newsroom.ucr.edu/1399), (http://www.examiner.com/holistic-family-health-in-new-york/guarding-our-health-and-beauty-not-just-skin-deep).
Shampoos may have foaming agents that are also used to degrease vehicle engines and clean airport runways and are carcinogenic (cancer causing) in humans (http://www.thenaturalrecoveryplan.com/articles/toxic-chemicals-shampoo.html).  Other commonly used ingredients can cause allergic reactions, cancers, skin and organ damage.
Some of the same ingredients are in a lot of bath products, such as soap and bubble bath.
Anything you put on your skin is almost the same as ingesting it.  Your skin absorbs 60% of everything you put on it and it travels there faster than what you drink or eat.  Guess that’s why the different types of trans-dermal patches are becoming popular.  Studies show that the patch is 95% more effective that oral medication.
Conduct your own research and contact that is reputable in alternative treatments and diets.   Some of them local health food businesses have knowledgeable staff on hand that can help direct you. 
The best advice is to contact someone that can research your habits, lifestyle, and medical issues and advise you on the proper foods that can treat problems in your diet.
Ayurvedic practitioners use food as medicine and treat different ailments with different natural ingredients.  This practice is over 5,000 years old. 
Other practitioners also employ treatments that are thousands of years old, based on their cultures.
So do some research and make a decision that could save you and your family, literally…

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Crazy Lawsuits - Yup!



Whose fault is it?
In my past profession as a police officer and involved in many investigations, I was privy to many excuses as to why people do what they do.  Many of these people cannot and will not accept responsibility for their actions, regardless of how silly it will make them look.
Even as I enjoy my retirement in the public sector, I realize that some folks are having difficulty in acknowledging fault.
On August 17th, HLN broadcasted that a man married to a reality show star had committed suicide and some were blaming the “Bravo” channel because of the stress they caused for being featured on the show.  I’m pretty sure you have to agree to be on the show, knowing your life will be an open book.
While in a parking lot of a business complex, I watched as two cars, both backing out at the same time, at the same speed, back into each other. 
Both drivers claimed they had the right of way per their insurance companies.
When I investigated vehicle accidents on-duty, drivers would drive into stationary objects, such as fire hydrants, parked cars or buildings, only to claim the object should’ve been placed somewhere else.
Drunk drivers would place stuffed animals in the driver’s seat when I walked up to the window, claiming the teddy bear was driving.
Drivers under the influence of prescription painkillers and muscle relaxers claiming the doctor prescribed the pills to them so it must be okay to drive, seemingly not noticing the warning labels on the pill bottle.  “May cause drowsiness”, “Do not operate heavy machinery” (Can you pick up your car? It’s heavy and it’s machinery).
We all remember the case where the elderly lady spilled hot coffee in her lap for McDonalds and sued because she received burns to her crotch area. 
In the past, if we spilled something, it was due to clumsiness. Now it’s the establishment’s fault and an attorney is getting involved.
Now most coffee cups you receive now have the warning “Caution – Hot liquid”. 
Really?
As far as warnings on products, it’s getting pretty ridiculous what is printed on the labels based on something that happened to someone.
A group called the “Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch” (Click here) started a contest on how lawsuits have changed the way product warning labels read now.
Past winners. The 81 year old scalding coffee lap lady from McDonalds (who got $2.9 mil) and a gentleman who won $50,000.00 because his teeth got caught in a basketball net, blaming the net company.
One label on a bottle of drain cleaner reads: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product”.
A warning label on a fishing lure with three hooks claims “Harmful if swallowed”.
Sleeping pills.  “May cause drowsiness”.
A household iron warns “Do not iron clothes while they are being worn”.
Baby stroller company says “Remove child before folding”.
Warning label on a laser printer toner cartridge.  “Do not eat toner”.
A CD player had an unusual warning.  “Do not use the UltraDisc 2000 as a projectile in a catapult”.
I really wish I was there to watch as some cerebrally-challenged individual try these feats that initiated these warning labels.
It seems reminiscent of a reality TV show as the characters attempted to do the most insane stunt, and live through it for the sake of entertainment.  At least, they knew pain was inevitable.
How about catapulting someone as they tried to swallow a fishing lure while eating toner and holding a hot cup of coffee in their lap, holding scissors? 
So much could go wrong. 
Catapult might not launch far enough (couldn’t be operator error).
The curvature on the hooks might not have the right radius for swallowing.
The toner might look like cake mix.
They should’ve known I was going to put 180 degree fluids between my legs so they should’ve designed a better cup to hold it in.
My mom never told me not to play with scissors. 
Sorry mom…

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Look Out - Kidz returning to School



Is your family ready for school?
Parents.  After all the running around, getting schools supplies, new clothes, shoes and assorted other goodies to make your children have the necessities for the upcoming school year, you’d think you’ve done your duties to prepare them.
How about preparing yourself?
Were you able to tour the school and look at where your children will be attending? 
Meet the teachers and principal?  The nurse?
Did you check where to drop off and pick up your children?  Is there enough room to park?  Best way to enter and exit school property?
Did you do a timed drill at home, getting the kids ready, driving to their school and dropping them off?  How long will it take?
Guaranteed, there will be school zone enforcement during the first week of school.  Watch your speed at school zones and crossing zones.  Look for the crossing guards.  Penalties for those violations are ENHANCED  and VERY expensive (usually doubled or more).
Have you coached your kids where to meet you after school?  Do they know how to cross the street? 
Several accidents occur on the streets surrounding the schools due to parents and kids not paying attention, when the children try to cross the street, darting out from between parked cars and when parents try to move their vehicles to pick up the kids.
Please be respectful of the school employees conducting traffic control when school starts and ends.  They are just trying to make sure everyone is safe and that everything flows smoothly.  If they ask you to move, don’t argue, apologize or say thank you and move.  Their job is hard enough.
And if you are in a hurry and might be stopped by the police, don’t blame them because you are in your bathrobe, curlers and slippers. Just saying…

Monday, August 22, 2011

A Pedophile's Dream



A rather disturbing article on CNN today.
A company is now marketing lingerie for children as young as four years and up to 12 years old (kids and “tweens”). See article
An ad displaying a 10 year old female, with heavy make-up, lying on a bed with satin sheets and wearing a lingerie gown-type outfit, complete with stiletto heels has been circulating in the media and causing a well-deserved outrage.
Obviously, I have a problem with the fact that kids, who don’t (or shouldn’t) know what lingerie even is, modeling and being exploited by the company and the camera person, but what the heck are the parents thinking of?!?
Remember Jon Benet Ramsey?  Parading in pageants and then found dead?
Before any parent decides to put their child in a “modeling” program, the local law enforcement agency should be on hand to educate them on how some pedophiles think and how to protect their children from those predators.
Some photos that most adults would find innocent in a publication, pedophiles take great relish in. 
I’ve spoken to detectives investigating pedophiles who have told me that some have poster boards or collages of photos cut from everyday magazines showing babies getting their diapers changed or small children in various forms of undress that most people wouldn’t even bat an eyelash at, much less a full-on photo shoot involving a minor in lingerie.
Parents and family members can research their neighborhoods for registered sex offenders and pedophiles using numerous databases (www.neighborhoodscan.com, www.nationalalertregistry.com among others).
Just think.  How easy is it for you to pick up your child and give them a hug? 
How about someone else?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Background checks for current CCW holders continue due to "lack of action"


Last month, the Nevada Sheriffs and Chiefs Association met and decided to postpone a decision that would have authorized a letter be sent to the US Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, asking them to re-instate an exemption to the background check for Nevada CCW permit holders.
In 2011, Governor Sandoval signed a bill that requires a background check, even for CCW holders.
Based on statements from the attendees to last month’s meeting, they wanted time to evaluate the impact the exemption would have on their agencies.
Reasonable enough.
As of today’s article (August 16th), seven sheriffs have responded, favorably, and supported the request for the exemption moving forward.
Ten other sheriffs have yet to cast their vote on this matter.
Our own Sheriff Gillespie responded by saying he wished to wait until the September 17th Sheriffs and Chiefs Association before making his decision.
Historically, Sheriff Gillespie and his administration have never been eager to get in the forefront and make a decisive move that others could possibly follow.  Their forte seems to be to wait and bide their time until the majority makes their decision, or just ignore it.
LVMPD is the largest law enforcement organization in Nevada and should lead by example;  the smaller agencies could/should follow suit, having faith in what LVMPD does.  But LVMPD has followed other larger agency’s decisions and copied programs implemented by them, not really promoting confidence in their decision making abilities.   We have never been known for our creativity, leadership, or innovation.
Maybe someone from LVMPD is looking into LAPD’s stance on this and they are holding back also.
The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department has one of the most “top” heavy administrations in the county, with new positions being fabricated on a constant basis to accommodate Gillespie’s favorites. (LAPD has a very slight advantage with 2 more deputy chiefs, but about 6,000 more personnel)
You would think one or a few of the administrators could get together and get that research done and get the sheriff a decision that would make up his mind.
Proponents of the exemptions believe that the stalling tactics would keep the fees for the background checks flowing.
And really, who is worried whether or not a person, who already has a gun AND has already had a background check completed, AND applied for and received a CCW permit, needs to have another background check done.  If anything, a quick call to LVMPD records division would verify if they still qualify to purchase another weapon.  So tack on a $5.00 fee for that and no waiting period.
Background checks are completed by LVMPD prior to issuance of the CCW permit, so in lieu of anything happening since the permit was issued, the permit holder should still be in good standing to purchase another firearm.
Call Sheriff Gillespie and ask him to make a timely decision in favor of your beliefs. 
Ask for the Office of the Sheriff after calling 229-3111 and leave your message. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

More traffic perceptions and misconceptions



Seems like traffic related articles interest the public, so here we go again.
Flashing your high beams will cause the traffic light to change from red to green:  Nope.
Some of the traffic signals at major intersections have what is called the “Opticom” system. There is a sensor mounted on near the traffic signal, high above the street.  The system is activated by emergency vehicles that are equipped with a signal light, usually positioned in the grille area or center of the light bar of the approaching emergency vehicle. 


Have you ever been at a red light that just changed to green, then immediately changed back to red before you even started forward?  Did you notice the emergency vehicle then cross in front of you, coming from your left or right with emergency lights on?  That’s the Opticom system at work.
The light that is required is a special bulb that emits a coded signal that changes the lights, not your high beams.
The traffic light system here usually has sensors buried under the asphalt, so when the vehicle approaches the intersection, it alerts the system that a vehicle is waiting.  If you don’t pass or stop on the sensor, you may not get the green light.  Look for the cut-outs in the pavement.
If you live in a cul-de-sac, you can park diagonally to the curb, not with your right wheels against the curb.  Nope.
Nevada statutes require the vehicles RIGHT wheels to be no more than 12 or 18 inches away from the curb, depending upon the jurisdiction. (County is 12”, City is 18”)
When parked perpendicularly to the curb, your vehicle is now jutting out into the cul-de-sac.  Large service vehicles, such as the garbage truck, cannot negotiate the turn with your vehicle blocking the travel path.  Sometimes they will not service your cul-de-sac if they cannot make a smooth turn.


If an emergency vehicle is behind me with its emergency lights on, I don’t have to pull over because I didn’t do anything wrong:  Nope.
ANY emergency vehicle with its emergency lights on has the right of way and you are REQUIRED to move to the right side of the roadway or shoulder, as soon as safely possible, and allow the vehicle to pass.
Not moving to the right will get you a costly moving violation citation, about $800.00 or more and 6 points on your license. 
And pulling over doesn’t mean that you find a convenient place that you like, as you  continue to drive while the emergency vehicle is behind you, trying to get you to pull over.  Some think if they are close to home, they can try and drive a little further to get into their driveway.  I’m sure the nice officer won’t mind citing you in front of your neighbors.
If there is a police vehicle or emergency vehicle on the side of the road, I need to get closer to see what’s going on:  Nope.
Nevada law requires that when there is an emergency vehicle (police, fire, ambulance, tow trucks, etc) on the side of the road, you are required to reduce your speed lower than the posted limit and move to the left, if possible.  No rubbernecking.  Check out the Youtube video; (here)
Several other jurisdictions conduct enforcement activities, watching other vehicles as they pass emergency vehicles that are conducting stops and then either warn or cite those drivers.
In the state of Ohio, over 12,000 cites have been issued to drivers since this law has taken effect, and the average cost per ticket is approximately $750.00 and a heavy point violation also, I’m sure.
Really, common sense should always be a factor in operating your motor vehicle. Getting a citation for a moving or parking violation or getting involved in an accident with a parked emergency vehicle can be easily avoided by using common sense.
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DRIVING AND THE ROADWAY.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite




Recently, I had a conversation with someone about an entire building that had to be fumigated because of an infestation of bedbugs.  (Not here, in California, so relax)

As I researched the bedbug phenomenon, I learned the following disturbing facts.
The bed bugs have been celebrating a comeback since about 1995 for unknown reasons. 
Reasons for the comeback;
Increased foreign travel, resistance to pesticides, second-hand clothes and furnishings changing hands among other things, hitchhiking on other animals.
What do they eat? 
Blood.  Specifically warm-blooded creatures. (Guess where we fit in on the menu?)
Where do they live?
Bed bugs?  Guess where.  Predominantly beds, but cloths and clothing material can harbor them.
How do you find them?
Look at ALL sections of your mattress.  Look at your clothing and luggage. Look for small spots and/or groups of the pests, congregating together.
You can actually smell them.  The smell is said to resemble coriander, cilantro, almonds or overripe raspberries.
How do I know if I have been a victim of the bedbug?
Look for swelling, rash or small blisters on your skin, usually in the same area.
Heat is not the bedbug’s friend.
If you have clothing or bedding that you believe in infested, place them in the clothes dryer and tumble them on the “high” setting.
Here in Vegas, you can place items outside in the summer heat and get the same results.
Now what do you do?
Contact a professional exterminator. Some exterminators employ a four-legged detector.  Some dogs are trained to sniff out the pests.
Some research has shown that bedbugs are highly resistant to pesticides, sometime as much as 264 times that lab bedbugs. (link) (Sounds like a great horror movie, huh,  Wes Kraven? ) So a professional is a must if you are going to have him spray a toxin in your home.
Cleanliness is next to Godliness.  Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum all around.  Rooms and mattresses.
Heat is not the bedbug’s friend.  If you have clothing or bedding that you believe in infested, place them in the clothes dryer and tumble them on the “high” setting.
Here in Vegas, you can place items outside in the summer heat and get the same results.
There are several natural remedies available.  Their efficacy is debatable, but at least one of them could be fun. 
The leaves and seeds of the “cannabis” plant is one such remedy.

Really?
Probably should keep some nachos in the bedroom after implementing such a remedy.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Really?



The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?  Really?
Religion:  a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith. (Merriam-Webster)
With Warren Jeffs convicted of multiple rapes of juvenile girls in his care and custody, some of us are all wondering how this heinous situation evolved to this point.  (read)
Using the 1st amendment, Jeffs was able to base his sick beliefs on the pretext of a fabricated religious belief.
Fortunately, that defense didn’t work.
I was wondering how far someone could get with claiming a religious belief to benefit their desires.  A little research goes a long ways.
Recently, a teenage girl was suspended from school for a nose piercing based on school dress codes. (article)
She and her mother belong to the Church of Body Modification.  “As followers of this faith, it is our purpose to educate and inspire, to share ideas, and to help each other achieve our dreams,” says the church’s statement of faith. “We strive to unify and strengthen our mind, body, and soul so we can overcome any challenges we may encounter. We assert and protect our rights to modify our bodies and to practice our rituals.”
Not sure how the body mods are going to educate, inspire, share ideas and achieve dreams, but to each his own.
Not happy with your life?
Try the Church of Euthanasia.  (link)  According to the church's website, it is "a non-profit educational foundation devoted to restoring balance between Humans and the remaining species on Earth.
Their one commandment is “Thou shall not procreate” and the four “pillars” are suicide, cannibalism (of the already dead), abortion and sodomy. 

Their weddings and funerals must be a hoot. 
Wonder how they keep their numbers up? 
How about a religion, Woodism, based on film director Ed Wood?  (read) (Or the “Temple of the Jedi Force”? (link) 

Don’t think I have to explain that one.
How about the “Prince Philip Movement”?  (Philip_Movement).  

There is a tribe on the island of Oceania that believes that Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, is a divine being.
One of the best registered religions is named “Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”.  (link).  It was originally a parody and now developed a cult following.

Who could forget the religion, People’s Temple that made a household children’s flavored drink synonymous with blindly following others as “drinking the Kool-aid”?  That thirst quencher, mixed with cyanide, claimed the lives of over 900 people in Jonestown, Guyana.  (link) (insert Jonestown pix here)
Trying to hitch a ride on a passing flying saucer?  Try “Heaven’s Gate”, if there are any members still left here. (Link)
They believed that the earth was due for a “do over” and was to be wiped clean, and their only chance was to leave their bodies and transport themselves to an alien craft in the tail of a passing comet.
Their suicide was accomplished with the use of phenobarbital in applesauce or pudding, washed down with vodka and then their heads were wrapped in plastic.
Must’ve been one heck of a pre-flight briefing.
There are numerous other religions based on ethnicity, sexual preferences, aliens, animal sacrifices, animals, etc. etc.
So can’t make it as a stock broker?  Or an architect?  Cab Driver?
Start your own religion!  Have ACLU defend your religious rights!
Come to think of it, I didn’t see them during the whole Warren Jeffs debacle…guess you can pick your friends. 
Too bad Jeffs isn’t one of them