Is police work stressful? Part 2

My normal demeanor is usually friendly and trusting, not quite the attitude for an officer.
I attended a training course put on by FBI reference officer safety. During the portion of the course reference officers killed in the line of duty, studies showed that the majority of the officers killed had a casual, laid back personality.

I made the decision to pay attention to my work, pick my partners carefully and train, train, train. I studied as much as I could about police work and the complex aftermaths.

After all my preparations, courses and decisions, I found myself still worrying about the unknown. I became paranoid. I didn’t trust many people. I couldn’t go out without scanning the surrounding areas and scrutinizing everyone in sight. I began to worry my family as I trained them as I was trained. They became paranoid.
I developed a case of bad acid reflux and consulted a doctor. When he told me that I needed to “chill out” or otherwise I would be using a plastic bag instead of a toilet, I had to reassess my priorities. I would be no good to my family if I was incapacitated due to over-stressing myself.

I remembered my training and relied on it to keep me safe. I realized I could only do so much. The old saying “S%#t happens” stuck in my mind. I developed a “second sense" and began to relax, but was always cognizant of my surroundings.

While working the streets, I felt confident about my abilities.
Still being a rookie, every day was an adrenaline rush and I couldn't wait to come home and tell my wife about my day.

It took me a while to realize what was exciting to me was not as exciting to her. She realized each story involved a degree of danger. She then began to question my actions as I relayed the stories to her. I tried to explain to her the ”letter of the law” to no avail. She didn't understand. I didn't understand that she didn't understand.

We grew apart.

While I was at work, realizing that a divorce was eminent, it was hard to focus on my job.
Fortunately, I had a supportive supervisor and partners. They watched my back and gave me advice.
After that episode in my life was complete, I realized that stress would be introduced to me in many other forms. Little did I know.
To be continued…